Добрий день (Dob-rey dehn)! That’s whats up in Ukrainian – because the Headmaster now is aware of, and it was with these phrases that he was greeted on his shock go to to Headmaster Zelenskyy on the Kyiv Boys’ Excessive College.
In a wide-ranging assembly overlaying all facets of schooling, there was a frank and productive change of views resulting in nearer co-operation. Of word, and typical of the Headmaster, was his willingness to supply sensible assistance on a number of ranges.
While The Kyiv Mixed Cadet Power is in need of gear, the Headmaster organized a right away zoom name with Senior Grasp Mr Wallace to ask what state-of-the-art gear the BoJo Academy might spare to alleviate their shortfall.
Mr Zelenskyy was actually left speechless on being instructed that the BoJo CCF might ship over three muzzle-loading flintlock rifles – retro-fitted with laser crosshair sights – a pair of percussion duelling pistols and a decommissioned Mills bomb.
All aboard (or not)!
For a few years, the varsity’s mannequin steam railway The Shapps Line, has been a preferred attraction. Working across the faculty’s perimeter, the two-mile, 15-minute, two-stop trip was particularly in style on sports activities days and through fetes.
Passengers will recall stopping at Tuck Store Halt to select up refreshments, together with Ms Patel’s fantastic Rwandan fudge – neatly packaged in a basket case. Lakeside View, famous for its commanding vistas of the decorative lake and the boating exercise – particularly the dinghy races – was one other favoured stopping-off level.
The prepare was for a few years pushed and maintained by the varsity’s Regius Professor of Militant Research, Mr Lynch – or Purple Mick because the boys affectionately name him – however he has now sadly needed to be suspended.
Mr Lynch just lately made plenty of calls for that are clearly unworkable. He has insisted that at Tuck Store Halt there ought to now be each a porter and stationmaster, and Lakeside View ought to have two full-time ticket inspectors. On high of those needs, he has requested that the mannequin prepare Lenin now has a guard and fireman, engineer and conductor.
The varsity doesn’t have the cash for these extra posts and sadly the prepare will stay inactive till cooler heads prevail.
Refugees welcome!
There was a welcome alternative for employees to precise their compassion and dedication to serving to refugees by becoming a member of the demonstration that made its method by means of the village final week. Brandishing placards made by pupils within the artwork division, it was a loud however good-humoured protest.
One enterprising neighborhood volunteer took it upon himself to assemble names and addresses of these prepared to ‘absorb’ both a refugee or asylum seeker. Sadly, regardless of a large outpouring of goodwill from all sides, it transpired that every one the native residents sadly had not one spare bed room to muster between them, however they have been unanimous of their view that ‘one thing should be achieved’.
The Headmaster maybe summed it up greatest when he mentioned: ‘While to outsiders, the nine-bedroomed Lodge the place I stay with my household would possibly look to have ample capability, that is merely not the case. We have now a big prolonged household who commonly stick with us and it might fairly merely be impractical to part off a room completely. Furthermore, the sanitary services should not ample to undertake this suggestion.’
Effectively mentioned, Headmaster – we totally perceive!
An apple a day!
Information reaches us from Matron, situated at her villa within the Algarve. For the final two years, Matron has efficiently overseen a giant improve within the variety of boys looking for recommendation and assist, and we’re thrilled that this improve reveals no indicators of abating.
Matron tells us that she has been utterly overwhelmed and feels unable to proceed with the demanding three half-days that she at the moment commits to.
To streamline the well being and wellbeing of the boys going ahead, Matron has launched her ‘look it up your self’ app. This digital innovation she assures us will result in faster and extra correct diagnoses and earlier remedy choices. We’re in your debt, Matron – thanks in your continued selfless dedication.
The ice man cometh!
It was an actual thrill to have acclaimed naturalist and TV icon Sir David Attenborough handle the varsity just lately on the theme ‘You’re all going to die.’ In a well-received discuss, he outlined how dad and mom selfishly taking holidays would result in their youngsters drowning in mattress or being eaten alive by polar bears.
To nice amusement, the Headmaster (who had raided the Dramatic Society’s prop field) lolloped in the direction of the stage in a very tight polar bear outfit.
Lacking step one, he stumbled awkwardly into some feminine members of employees and was seen clutching at them to interrupt his fall. Making polar bear grunts, which to some onlookers sounded remarkably like ‘phwoar’, he ultimately steadied himself and took his place on the rostrum.
Some junior boys have been considerably traumatised by each Sir David’s predictions and the Headmaster’s antics and needed to be comforted by Housemistress Truss – if solely we had Matron’s app at hand!!
Lastly, there may be completely no fact within the Bursar’s considerably doom-laden missive that the varsity is now formally bankrupt. Please Mr Bursar, in future these intemperate utterances ought to be restricted to the ‘internal circle’ of Governors and never be disseminated to folks.
