Ought to I warn my ex’s new girlfriend that he is a narcissistic cheat?

DEAR DEIDRE: SHOULD I warn my ex-lover’s girlfriend he’s a narcissist who can’t keep trustworthy to any girl – or ought to I let her discover out for herself?

I used to be in an off-the-cuff relationship with a man for 2 years. Once we met, he made me really feel that we had a deep connection.

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I ought to have ended it when he began seeing one other woman three months in the past, however he manipulated me into nonetheless having intercourse with him.

I’m 32 and he’s 38. The intercourse we had was unbelievable and he instructed me I used to be the very best lover he’d ever had.

Nonetheless, he stated the opposite girl ticked extra of his containers when it comes to being a long-term companion.

He requested if I’d grow to be his secret lover as he couldn’t bear to lose me.

Stupidly, I agreed to be his bit on the facet. I quickly realized I wasn’t joyful sharing him.

However each time I began to query the connection, he would hook me again in with items and mind-blowing intercourse.

Then I noticed a TV programme about narcissists and I realised he met each standards: no empathy, no conscience, serial infidelity.

After I instructed him I couldn’t see him any extra, he responded by sending me horny photos and loving messages, to let me know what I used to be lacking.

Ultimately, I blocked him as a result of I stored being tempted again into his mattress.

Now I really feel traumatised by the entire expertise.

I seemed up his girlfriend on social media and she or he looks as if a pleasant girl.

A part of me feels I ought to contact her to inform her what he’s actually like.

I don’t need her to get damage the best way I used to be by him, which I really feel is inevitable. However I do wish to damage him.

Would saying one thing be a nasty thought?

DEIDRE SAYS: Your intentions are good, however it’s higher to maintain quiet.

For one factor, she won’t consider you or simply assume you’re a bitter ex, which in a manner you’re.

And it won’t do any good anyway.

If she’s in love with him, she is going to most likely make excuses for him or be so blinded she received’t have the ability to see his faults.

Generally, individuals should be taught for themselves and make their very own errors. You don’t know her.

Saying one thing might additionally make him very indignant with you, which might trigger issues.

The very fact that is nonetheless preoccupying you a lot – and that you really want revenge – suggests that you’re having issue transferring on from this relationship.

My help pack Addictive Love will assist you to perceive your emotions.

Some counselling might additionally assist. Contact Tavistock Retlationships (020 7380 1960, tavistockrelationships.org).