Lewis gunfire – The Eye Journal

Articles printed in The Eye are written by a crew of contributors and edited by the multi-award successful former BBC information and present affairs reporter, Phil Parry.

Our satirical author Edwin Phillips reads a media launch selling a brand new rock album that includes Johnny Depp, who was labelled a “spouse beater” in a UK court docket for brutal assaults on his ex, when his image was utilized by the massive John Lewis (JL) division retailer in Cardiff and adverts that includes him have appeared on tv, but officers failed to offer an announcement explaining the controversial coverage.

FROM: PUBLICITY UNITED KINGDOM ECHO (PUKE)

TO: ALL REGIONAL STAFF EDITORIAL (ARSE)

TIME: NEVER

You can be delighted to listen to, and publicise the very fact, that the much-loved star of Pirates of the Caribbean Johnny Depp, is now to be heard in a recording often called a LONG PLAYER, with the immortal line: “i feel you’ve mentioned sufficient for one motherf***ing evening”.

It shouldn’t, nevertheless, be reported by your advantageous organ that it has been mentioned within the UK press it is a direct reference to Mr Depp’s acrimonious libel battles along with his ex-wife, Amber Heard.

The Sunday Occasions (ST) regrettably mentioned: “Depp blasts away post-courtroom blues with hate tune for Heard”.

In contrast to the large division retailer John Lewis (JL) we at PUKE are eager to offer this info IMMEDIATELY.

We perceive that JL have continued to make use of a big image of Mr Depp to promote Dior’s Eau Sauvage within the fragrance division of its Cardiff store, however officers are, sadly, shy of speaking about it, as a result of the ONLY response from the JL ‘media relations’ workplace has been: “Whats up Phil, Thanks on your e mail and getting in contact. We are going to look into this for you – please may you let me know what your deadline is?”.

That is NOT PUKE behaviour!

It is necessary publicity for Mr Depp’s new recording, that it was present in a UK court docket, he had put Ms Heard in “worry for her life” on three events – together with throughout a “three-day hostage state of affairs” in Australia in March 2015, the place £120,000 value of harm was prompted to their rented residence.

The phrase ‘There isn’t a such factor as dangerous publicity’, has a advantageous ring to it!

With this in thoughts, we at PUKE draw your consideration to the truth that within the UK libel case, it was discovered:

1. In early 2013, Mr Depp slapped and knocked Ms Heard to the bottom after she made a joke about his “Wino Ceaselessly” tattoo.
2. In March 2013, Mr Depp flew right into a rage whereas excessive on medicine and hit Ms Heard so laborious he made her lip bleed.
3. In June 2013, Mr Depp attacked Ms Herd in a trailer at Hicksville – throwing glasses at her and ripping her costume.
4. In Could 2014, Mr Depp screamed at her on a personal jet after taking medicine and boozing earlier than kicking her within the again or bum.
5. In 2014, Mr Depp grabed Ms Heard by the hair, slapped her and pushed her to the bottom on a detox journey to the Bahamas.
6. In January 2015, Mr Depp once more attacked Ms Heard whereas on medicine – this time slapping her and pushing her to the bottom. He then stood over her yelling.
7. In March 2015, Mr Depp launched right into a brutal three-day assault in Australia – leaving Ms Heard with a damaged lip, swollen nostril and cuts throughout her physique. He trashed the home in a violent rampage and pushed her to the bottom, choking her and spitting in her face.
8. In March 2015 within the couple’s LA residence, Mr Depp grabbed Ms Heard in entrance of her sister and repeatedly hit her.
9. In August 2015 on the couple’s honeymoon, Mr Depp pushed Ms Heard towards a wall by grabbing her by the throat.
10. In December 2015, Mr Depp chucked a glass decanter at Ms Heard at their LA residence in a drug binge. He additionally slapped her and dragged her by the condominium by her hair – ripping a bit out. He then hit her once more behind the top and headbutted her within the face and screamed “I’ll f***ing kill you”. Mr Depp then pushed her face right into a mattress and repeatedly punched her behind the top.
11. In April 2016 at Ms. Heard’s birthday celebration, Mr Depp assaulted her after receiving “grim information” about his funds.
12. In Could 2016, Mr Depp chucked a cellphone at Ms Heard – injuring her eye – earlier than pulling her hair and hanging her.

We welcome the information that the decide within the UK libel case introduced by Mr Depp, dismissed two allegations made by Ms Heard, though he did NOT conclude she had been untruthful. These have been that:

1. In December 2014, Ms Heard claimed Mr Depp was “violent in direction of” her, and later branded himself a “f***ing savage”. That is, maybe, applicable on condition that the male fragrance Mr Depp advertises is ‘Sauvage’.
2. In November 2015, she mentioned Mr Depp “threw her across the room” and pushed her over a chair.

There are even higher PUKE particulars too – Mr Depp was awarded $10 million in compensatory damages and $5 million in punitive damages by a court docket in Virginia, over a first-person Washington Submit article 4 years in the past from Ms Heard, wherein she had claimed she was a survivor of home abuse.

That is info that needs to be shouted from the rooftops, as in utilizing an image of Mr Depp in JL.

We at PUKE positively consider that silence isn’t golden from the official media relations division.

We expect they need to do extra than simply “look into this” – they need to speak about it!

The recollections of our Editor, Phil Parry’s, astonishing 39 12 months award-winning profession in journalism (together with instant responses from Press Places of work) as he was gripped by the uncommon neurological disabling situation, Hereditary Spastic Paraplegia (HSP), have been launched in a serious ebook ‘A GOOD STORY’. Order the ebook now!

Regrettably publication of one other ebook, nevertheless, was refused, as a result of it was to have included names.

Tomorrow – how even earlier than England’s defeat by France on the males’s Qatar World Cup, Welsh soccer followers condemned the fanfare round their nationwide crew qualifying for a match in a rustic the place it’s unlawful to be homosexual, it’s feared that hundreds of migrant employees might have died in constructing the infrastructure for it, and amid accusations of bribery to safe the competitors within the first place.